Action Steps to Peaceful Parenting
I woke up around 2 am feeling like something needed to be written. Our family has been experiencing some changes lately and writing has not been at the top of my list so this was a welcome surprise.
I came to the task of parenting seeing it as a privilege, but still a task. Through many ups and downs (like we all experience to one degree or another) I decided that parenting in peace was something I’d die for. Meaning that the me I thought I was would die. Not me – the physical expression and body known as Amy – but all of the stories and patterns and actions that were not serving me or my family. Such a death does not occur instantly or without pain in many instances (at least in my experience the process is still unfolding!) And it certainly requires a focus on what one is living and standing For. Of course I protect my children and I’ve stood in front of them to defend them from physical attack more than once, but I live consciously knowing that I now create a life experience where such a threat is not part of our lives.
We can choose peace. In any moment, in all moments… over and over again until there’s nothing left but peace. It starts with us, on the personal level. Join me in the journey…
Action Steps to Peaceful Parenting
- Talk about how you feel rather than blame, shame, or criticize without directing anger AT anyone. Outline what you want to have happen in a positive manner.
- Excuse yourself to use a peaceful process when beneficial (deep breaths work, but you have to step aside and take time to focus on breathing deeply to benefit yourself and those around you when stressed).
- See child as inherently equal and valuable, deserving of respect, thus treat child with respect at all times (and the times you notice you’re not bring your attention back to the initial fact)
- Pray/meditate/relax for peace and guidance.
- Provide peaceful solutions to conflict (between siblings, yourself and child, within the child personally)
- Instead of threats use clear consequences that are well related to the behavior (beware of manufactured consequences that are truly punishment in disguise)
- Remember there are always unknown options available for sorting out difficulties. Trust in unlimited possibilities.
- Focus on the desired outcome in the short term, and long term, and move towards it positively.
- Speak in the tone you want to hear back from your child/partner.
- Deepen the belief that we All want to cooperate and get along. Look for evidence (even in questionable behavior). What you look for you will see. How can you believe the best about your child in all moments? And yourself?
- Choose peace over and over until it becomes habit.
- Remember that Love neither fails nor ends.
Much love to you and yours,
Amy