Innate Wholeness

Pain can come in various forms.  With an infant it may begin with the squeeze through the birth canal and the separation from the homey environment of the womb.  Many people could relate one experience on top of another after those first perceptions of discomfort as a person enters the realm of humanity.  Falling down as one learns to walk, skinned knees, the emotional pain of separating from parents or sibling rivalry…

How do parents run from children’s pain?

You know if you are running when your mind starts to scatter in several directions or one straight into making someone at fault.  A large sense of “this is wrong” may begin to swell within you.  Your body may tense, you may join your child in his or her pain, or you may literally find yourself backing away, cringing inside at the pain your child is experiencing.

Why is it of value to face the pain rather than run?

Pain that is faced and embraced will transform back into the light that it truly is.  Pain is simply an in the moment energetic expression of disconnection from innate well being.  I know it doesn’t feel simple, but as you allow yourself to feel the simple truth of emotions being a signal, rather than something to avoid, you will begin to experience them for the neutral gift they really are.  Neither right nor wrong, emotions – including pain – simply are.  They exist, like everything else and when pushed against the energy stays stuck/stagnant, instead of being allowed to flow.

At the core of each being – you and your child included – is the energy of light and love.  Not in some airy fairy sense, but in reality.  We are energy.  We are expressions of the One Source.  Who we think we are is part of the experience, but underneath all of who we have come to know we are is pure light energy.  When that is denied or questioned (as often happens when pain is experienced) the “result” is more disconnection and pain.

How can you integrate that with parenting?

Imagine yourself standing in front of your child who is in pain (sadness, crying, anger, lashing out, some expression of what we perceive as negative emotion).  Feel into your own body and energy with your breath.  Before you act and try to fade or fix the child or situation, breathe.  Deeply into your body.  Feel your breath come in and out several times and notice any tension you feel.

The pain we witness in our children will often ignite past pain we have.  There may be an experience or story attached or it may seem illogical for us to feel upset.  Choose to accept that you are feeling what you are feeling and that you can be with the feeling, whether it is within you or your child.

Know that it is not your job to change the circumstances to make your child feel better.  If danger is imminent, by all means do what you have to do of course!  However, notice when you are moving swiftly to protect in a way that doesn’t allow the feeling of emotions or acceptance of what is for you or your child.

For example, I recently found a family day care for my children while I work.  It is a part time situation and the woman caring for my children is wonderful – someone I consider a friend even though we’ve recently become acquainted.  As a single mother, I have been asking for this type of a care arrangement for a while…

On the first day my youngest who is 3 did not want to stay.  My middle child was also apprehensive.  We worked through it as I stayed for a couple of hours so they could become comfortable.  When I received a call later in the day that my youngest had an experience of strong anger when a situation around pottying came up I felt some very strong feelings and stories come up within me.

“Is she okay?  Is the child she *bit* okay?  Is the care provider okay?  Is this even the right situation?  I’m not sure if I can deal with this!”

It felt a lot like transition towards the end of birth where the cervix opens so widely and the baby is about to emerge that the mother questions everything she has ever known. 

For a while I have been aware of the fact that trusting my children in another’s care is something I must walk through on a personal level of growth.  Little by little I did so… with family, friends, and in seeking a provider to care for them during work hours.  It’s all about trust for me.  Trust that Life gives us all what we need and that we are guided, guarded, and protected… through living consciously.

In facing the emotions, my good friend Christine reminded me that this was all coming up for me to be with.  I could make changes if necessary from the place of facing them – not running from them.  The peace that descended upon me during that conversation and after as I embraced the pain welling up was great… and lasting.

Whatever the situation, know that pain is simply a signal saying… “Be with me” much like a little child.  Look into its eyes, sit with it, and know that you do not have to fade it or fix it… just love it and it will transform back into the light and love that it presently forgot that it is…

Tune Into Your Roots Energy Healing Session this coming Monday!

Energy Healing is a Unique Benefit of the Tune Into Your Roots Parenting Circle

Changing the way you parent can bring up the challenge of how to deal with past pain and patterns that are well established and difficult to “break” as you navigate new experiences.

• Energy healing goes to the source and solution of those issues to release and transform the negative into positive.
• Provides a safe space for relaxation, release, and healing on all levels -mental, emotional, physical, spiritual.

• Gives support to the mindset you are developing through strengthening the awareness of your innate gifts.

Tonight’s session is for members of the Tune Into Your Roots Parenting Circle. Not a member? Click here for details!

Copyright 2009 Amy Christine Bush & Christine Gulrajani | Innate Parenting

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 9th, 2009 at 12:17 pm and is filed under MM Collection. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.