Innate Wholeness

A little over a year ago, our family moved to a rural area centrally located in the Bible belt. Many of the acquaintances I have made consider themselves traditional Christians. Now, I am sure each person’s definition is a bit different and at the same time many of the Christians I have gotten to know do participate in some practices that are often categorized as traditional. This has been an insightful mixture of blessons (blessing + lesson = blesson).

For instance, a close friend offered me the work of Michael and Debi Pearl. I have written about my experience with the Pearl’s child training methods at Peace 4 Parents. It’s not that there is nothing of value in what they write; it’s just that the basis conflicts with my basic sense of what I feel works for my family – and children as a whole. That’s big stuff when it comes to relating to people and creating friendships. I really appreciate the friendships I do have and the last year has been very interesting as I’ve sifted through personal biases, shared my perspectives, clarified what works, and essentially stood up for communication, discipline, and spiritual practices that I feel truly benefit of our world.

In that, I want to extend my deepest apology to those of you on this list who may have been taken aback by my sudden references to Christianity. I also want to express my appreciation for my new found friendships and for those who continue to read, despite any challenge the references bring up for you.

I was raised with a Grandmother who devoted her life to Christ. My mother also lives by Christian principles of generosity and love, although she is not into strict religion. I was baptized at around age 21 in the Presbyterian church at my grandmother’s urging. Until I was about 27 my most common conversations with God started, and most often ended, something like this… “God, please help me!”

You could say I’ve come a long way since then. As I’ve gradually woken up over the past few years to inherent truths present for all humans to discover, I realize there is a lot to be found in the Bible. It corresponds to other world religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, and even many “new age” or new thought philosophies. This isn’t surprising to me, it is actually very affirming. We are one human family. Thank you for joining me in this opportunistic journey of life.

Love,
Amy

P.S. I am now offering daily energy healing and would love to include you. Oh, and I’ve changed email providers!

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How often do you get this invitation from someone who sends you email updates? Although there’s an unsubscribe link in each email I send, this is an official invite to reduce email clutter and stop receiving emails from me if you’ve had enough.

However, if you are still benefiting from the updates you receive – please take action!

If you are a parent, please sign up for the mailing list at Peace 4 Parents -  http://www.peace4parents.com. If you’d rather I do it for you, send a quick reply and I’ll add you to Peace 4 Parents. You will receive email updates with informative and helpful articles, parent peace tips, and up front access to all offerings. I am still working to move content so you may receive some insights you’ve read in the past – and they may be timely refreshers. You will still be part of the Innate Wholeness mailing list until you choose to unsubscribe.

After this email, all parenting related insights will be posted at Peace 4 Parents. If you happen to be the parent of a toddler, soon-to-become toddler, or know someone who is – you may be interested in a recent answer about gentle parenting and aggressive toddlers.

If you are interested in spirituality, healing, awakening, and aligning yourself with Truth I invite you to continue your participation with Innate Wholeness. In the future I will be offering a simple monthly support program and a mentoring intensive for people who walk the path of truth, whatever that looks like in your life (i.e. healing, teaching, being more honest with yourself and others, improving your relationships, and living life to the fullest.)

Thank you for your support over the years and I look forward to keeping in touch if you choose to stay subscribed or add yourself to the Peace 4 Parents mailing list.

Much Love,
Amy

P.S. If you are still getting multiple emails, let me know. I may switch newsletter providers to solve the issue.

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Bits and pieces of this story have been told here and there. Why do I share stories from my life? Stories help us learn about one another, and more importantly about ourselves. When we identify with a story we have insight into our own journey through life. When we disagree with aspects of someone’s story we have that same opportunity to learn about ourselves, our judgments, and our choices.

Enjoy the journey…

My third child was diagnosed with 7 food allergies at six months of age. During my pregnancy with her I ate healthy, gained the “right” amount of weight, practiced yoga and relaxation, and had a restful home birth attended by a midwife. I had done everything I planned to do to keep my baby healthy. We were breastfeeding and yet her little body was riddled with rashes, eczema, and digestive disturbance. I started an elimination diet even before the testing and soon felt I would starve. Although my health mattered, our breastfeeding relationship was more important than being limited to a very selective diet.

Her allergies did not subside, but worsened shortly after a move from our family home to a duplex in another city. Frustrations were mounting between my former husband and me as we adjusted to life changes and I was becoming more anxious about her allergic reactions.

Click over to the Accidental Natural Mama to read the rest.

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I’ve received word that some people are receiving multiple copies of the posts!

I believe the newsletter configuration is now set correctly so you will only receive one copy (unless you are subscribed with more than one different email address). If you get too many emails, please let me know!

Also, I talked with Tanna Corona this evening about parenting challenges, responding to intense life experiences, and questioning our own misery. Have a listen, share your experience in the comments below, and check out Peace 4 Parents if you would like further support.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/realriches/2011/04/26/real-riches-with-tanna-corona

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This morning I opened my email to find a note about Summer Minor, a mom who could not be located – and left a suicide note for her friends on the  internet to read. As I write this she is “alive, being hospitalized for depression” and has not taken final action to leave 3 children – the lights of her life, the earthly experience of intense pain, and many mothers who are willing to help her if she wants to work through whatever she is facing.

Shortly after reading about her I felt a sense that she hung herself, or was seriously considering it. Whenever I feel a stagnant, pressure-like feeling in my throat the first thing that pops to mind is the throat chakra… the energy center of divine vs. personal will.

Every life issue runs through this chakra – Everything. In each breathing moment we are presented the opportunity to align our will, our choices with that of Life – the Creator – What Is. While we have different ideas about how things should be, arguing with reality never works. They are as they are in the moment AND we can work to change our experience.

It is not always easy.

Life can feel complex, like it’s running us down – like we are both deeply alone and being attacked by everyone and everything.

Many years ago I read a poem about change that I held onto…

Start With Yourself

When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.

But it, too, seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But alas, they would have none of it.

And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: if I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family.

From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world.

-Anonymous

I have wanted to change the world to a peaceful one since I was a very little child. I realized many years ago I must start with myself, but the desire to help others never left. As my husband says, world peace through inner peace.

Do we think that peace is a mere luxury that we get to experience based on circumstances? Money, possessions, friends, well behaved kids, a relationship, the love of another, or something else. We don’t need to pretend that we are “above” the false idea that circumstances bring peace. We do benefit from being very aware of it, though, so we can cultivate true inner peace – that leads to outer peace in all of our thoughts, words, and actions… the world.

“The peace within becomes the harmony without.” -Joel S. Goldsmith

Whether we realize it or not, it is peace that we want. Good friends and lovers can support us along the path – that’s for sure. The fact that Summer felt comfortable enough sharing her pained life experience with so many real and virtual friends demonstrates the need for true, compassionate community. Parents need each other. We weren’t meant to do this alone.

Inner peace comes when we decide that it isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity. We shift our focus from the pain to what we want, even if for only an instant. We catch a glimpse of what it feels like and we allow it to pull us along (instead of following the down trodden, heavy thoughts that lead to depression and suicide)… inspiring practices such as meditation or centering prayer, reaching out to receive help in developing awareness so we can make changes, healing our wounds, participating in activities to promote inner and outer peace, and exercising our own power in each moment to fully recognize true peace inside of ourselves.

It’s not always easy, but it is possible. And it’s worth making every effort to experience.

It is a fundamental right.

As Richard Moss says…

“There is a work to be done, a teaching to be lived, and no one is exempt.”

That work is your work, our work – to heal the planet by starting with ourselves.

If you are a parent or someone who is considering suicide, facing depression, just want to talk, or know someone who is experiencing lows in life, please feel free to contact me or read this. You are not alone.

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One of the ways I have grown as a parent is through considering various view points from caring parents. Recently, some mommas from the Natural Parents Network team submitted favorite posts to share with readers. I joined in and offer you multiple views from many mommas. They range from miscarriage to maintaining balance to boredom busting – and quite a bit in between. Enjoy!

Joella – Fine and Fair – An Unusual Gripe with Bebe Gloton

Amy at Innate Wholeness offers simple tips to be present with family whether you’re having fun and want to soak it up like a sponge or would rather run and hide in a cave. (If you didn’t read it before, you might enjoy it now.)

Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares sound bites from her miscarriage journey of forgiveness and gratitude.

Shannon H – Pineapples and Artichokes – Let’s Talk About Diversity – Shannon writes about how she is trying to raise her daughter to be accepting of everyone.

Jennifer – Hybrid Rasta Mama – Don’t Say No To Me discusses the overuse of the word “no” and offers some aid in finding creative ways to avoid “no.” (Watch for an upcoming article from me on teaching children how to accept no gracefully).

Melissa – The New Mommy Files: Memories, Milestones and Missteps – The Case for Instinctual Mothering

Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro shares a comprehensive list of all the food she keeps on hand.

Suchada – Mama Eve – Sleep, Crying, and Balancing Closeness with Boundaries

Shannon R – The ArtsyMama – Ten Things I Wish I Knew Before Little Man

Kristin – Intrepid Murmurings – Babywearing Twins: Tips and Tricks for Babywearing Two

Julia at A Little Bit of All of It tells the story of how motherhood came to her and how a miscarriage shaped her feelings and perceptions surrounding the birth of her first daughter.

Emily – Embrita Blogging – 10 Things That Make Me Happy

Lauren – Hobo Mama – Postpartum sex vs. sex before kids

As part of an ongoing series about balance, Amy at Anktangle writes about a daily ritual she has adopted to help her maintain balance in her life.

Cynthia at The Hippie Housewife is reminded that while the days may sometimes be long, the years are short, and after a rough day the best thing to do is give thanks for the best parts and try again tomorrow.

Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers 7 Alternatives to Good Job: “Good job’ing” kids can be a mindless habit to fall into. Instead of using a generic “good job,” try one of these ideas to really connect with and nurture your child.

Darcel @ The Mahogany Way has the ultimate boredom busting activity for children of all ages.

Alicia at Lactation Narration discusses the long journey of child-led weaning, during which she thought several times that her child was weaned before she really was.

Mandy @ Living Peacefully With Children: Letting go of the illusion of control opens up a an entirely new world.

Luschka @ Diary of a First Child talks about the battle between breastfeeding and formula feeding mothers and the industry that stokes the flames of a war on mothers.

Mary Michael @ The Accidental Natural Mama recounts her journey to Mama-hood.

Momma Jorje shares some good news and important information about Lindane and Lice.

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What were you taught to do when you felt crabby as a kid? Did you watch your parents and others complain, lash out, brood silently – or did the people around you offer viable solutions for tending to low feeling emotions? You don’t have to blame anyone that you didn’t learn appropriate ways to work with strong emotion – just learn some tools you can share with your family now.

Emotion has a purpose. When we’re upset, often our perspectives or circumstances can benefit from attention and possibly a change. Byron Katie’s book Tiger, Tiger Is It True? highlights a fun way to introduce the power of perspective to a child. Adults can take notes also.

Teaching kids to listen to their bodies when they are upset allows them to experience a way to identify, move, transform, and release energy that deeply honors themselves and others. Yoga is one way kids and adults can take some time to listen within, exercise, and move stuck or stagnant energy. After you learn a few poses you can do them when you feel upset – instead of lashing out, brooding, or blaming.

Here are a few yoga resources your family may enjoy…

The inspiration for this post came from a book my friend, Michelle, passed along to me…

“Zoe is just 3, and I am astounded by all the love packed in her tiny body. Her parents taught her to stretch her body when she’s crabby, so you’ll see her on the floor, head to knees, repeating ‘crabby, stretching, crabby, stretching.’ Zoe is a succulent kid!” -from The Bodacious Book of Succulence by Sark

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Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy

This post was written for the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. Read to the end to find the submissions of other carnival participants.

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There is a reason my bio describes me as “gentle, yet direct”. Maybe it’s the fact that I was born under the sign of Gemini and maybe it’s because of the passion that burns within me to help parents liberate themselves from parenting ways that just don’t work for them – so they can make the most of the time they have with their kids. Either way, I walk the line of compassionately advocating for healthy, gentle parenting choices by offering the truth.

Who am I to offer “the truth”? Allow me to explain how I offer it.

I offer the raw truth of the my story, the truth of what is possible for parents who are willing to explore in great depth their own psyche and motivations, the truth of what I hear they don’t want in their parenting experience, a clear reflection of what they do want and how they can bring that about.

I offer the truth of my present moment interaction with the parent, what I am hearing-sensing-feeling, what can transpire if one suspends limitation for a moment, and possible practices that may assist in achieving ultimate parenting goals.

I offer the truth that all of the ideas we think are “the truth” are just ideas. We must make determinations for ourselves about what ideas we hold true because ideas are what become our words, then actions. If we are experiencing suffering of some sort we get to be responsible for finding our way out of it, asking for help when we need it.

I used to feel like parents “should” do it this way or that way, for the baby, for the parent, for the environment, for the planet. Now, I release judgment to meet the parent in the moment with love.  It looks like this.

Accept. I accept each parent as a magnificent being who I am privileged to be interacting with. If this is a struggle at any point I choose to notice judgmental thoughts and focus on appreciating this person for who they are right now. Whether the person engages in “natural parenting” practices or not is irrelevant. I acknowledge the person as unique and valuable. I look for ways to see the truth that this parent is more like me than different. I believe we both want the best for our children and to enjoy the parenting experience.

Listen. I listen on the inside first. Focusing my attention on the rhythm of my breath, the space inside of my body, noticing any thoughts or reactions I am having, I become present in the moment with myself and the other parent. I notice any judgments that arise and see them as that – human judgments – not fact or fiction, per se. Just judgments. Then I can fully listen to the other parent.

Maybe we’re just having a casual conversation or maybe we’re watching our kids play. If something comes up that needs attention I listen deeper. I find it amusing to watch the thoughts that may come up in response to certain situations or topics of interest. It is fascinating how the mind makes connections from this to that, all for the purpose of coming to a conclusion or judgment. Watch your mind for a while – it’s a trip.

Honor. If I need to attend to my child I will do so in the way that works for me and honors the others in our presence. It’s taken some practice to be able to do this. A large part of the parenting journey is about working through other people’s judgments, which often reflect inner judgment we’re holding onto without realizing it. Of course, once we realize it we can let it go or transform it into a strength.

I encourage parents to honor themselves and their children in the ways that work for them and to make changes as necessary. Once we approve of ourselves we realize the need to change another, have someone agree with us or impose our ideas on another literally melts away. We may also experience a synchronicity in our interactions where the people we are around have similar values or can benefit from what we have to offer.

Offer. Sometimes a helpful idea pops up and I offer it as an option. Maybe a parent is struggling with a certain aspect of life or a child’s behavior. I tune into what they are looking for – sympathy, a space to vent or a solution. I offer space and solutions that communicate the parent is exactly where they need to be, they have the guidance inside to navigate life and that they are finding their way to the parenting experience they desire.

I offer this because I feel it is the truth.

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Enjoy the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Natural Parenting Advocacy by Example — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction uses her blog, Twitter and Facebook as her natural parenting soapbox.
• You Catch More Flies With Honey — When it comes to natural parenting advice, Kate of The Guavalicious Life believes you catch more flies with honey.
• From the Heart — Patti at Jazzy Mama searches her heart for an appropriate response when she learns that someone she respects wants his baby to cry-it-out.
• I Offer the Truth — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares the hard truths to inspire parents in making changes and fully appreciating the parenting experience.
• Advocating or Just Opinionated? — Momma Jorje discusses how to draw the line between advocating compassionately and being just plain opinionated. It can be quite a fine line.
• Compassionate Advocacy — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting writes about how to discuss topics you are passionate about with people who don’t share your views.
• Heiny Helpers: Sharing Cloth Love — Heiny Helpers is guest posting on Natural Parents Network to share how they are providing cloth diapers and cloth diapering support to low income families.
• Struggling with Advocacy — April of McApril still struggles to determine how strongly she should advocate for her causes, but still loves to show her love for her parenting choices to those who would like to listen.
• Compassionate Advocacy Through Blogging (AKA –Why I Blog) — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how both blogging and day-to-day life give her opportunities to compassionately advocate for natural parenting practices.
• A Letter to *Those* Parents — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares how to write an informed yet respectful reply to those parents — you know, the ones who don’t parent the way you do.
• Why I Am Not A Homebirth Advocate — Olivia at Write About Birth is coming out: she is a homebirth mom, but not a homebirth advocate. One size does not fit all – but choice is something we can all advocate for!
• Why I Open My Big Mouth — Wolfmother from Fabulous Mama Chronicles reflects on why she is passionate about sharing parenting resources.
• Watching and Wearing — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life advocates the joys of babywearing simply by living life in a small college town.
• Compassionate Advocacy . . . That’s The Way I Do It — Amyables at Toddler in Tow describes how she’s learned to forsake judgment and channel her social energy to spread the “good news” of natural parenting through interaction and shared experiences.
• Compelling without repelling — Lauren at Hobo Mama cringes when she thinks of the obnoxious way she used to berate people into seeing her point of view.
• I Am the Change — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro describes a recent awakening where she realized exactly how to advocate for natural parenting.
• Public Displays of Compassion — The Accidental Natural Mama recounts an emotional trip to the grocery store and the importance of staying calm and compassionate in the storm of toddler emotions.
• I will not hide behind my persona — Suzi Leigh at Attached at the Boob discusses the benefits of being honest and compassionate on the internet.
• Choosing My Words — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares why she started her blog and why she continues to blog despite an increasingly hectic schedule.
• Honour the Child :: Compassionate Advocacy in the Classroom — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree shares her experience of being a gentle and compassionate parent — with other people’s children — as a classroom volunteer in her daughter’s senior kindergarten room.
• Inspired by the Great Divide (and Hoping to Inspire) — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis shares her thoughts on navigating the “great divide” through gently teaching and being teachable.
• Introverted Advocacy — CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy shares how she advocates for gentle parenting, even though she is about as introverted as one can be.
• The Three R’s of Effective and Gentle Advocacy — Ana at Pandamoly explains how “The Three R’s” can yield consistent results and endless inspiration to those in need of some change.
• Passionate and Compassionate: How do We do It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares the importance of understanding your motivation for advocacy.
• Sharing the love — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about how she shares the love and spreads the word.
• What Frank Said — Nada at miniMOMist has a good friend named Frank. She uses his famous saying to demonstrate how much natural parenting has benefited her and her family.
• Baby Sling Carriers Make Great Compassionate Advocacy Tools — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shared her babywearing knowledge — and her sling — with a new mom.
• Everyday Superheroes — Who needs Superman when we have a community of compassionate advocates?! Dionna at Code Name: Mama believes that our community of gentle bloggers are the true superheroes.
• Words of advice: compassionately advocating for my parenting choices — MrsH at Fleeting Moments waits to give advice until she’s been asked, resulting in fewer advocacy moments but very high responsiveness from parents all over the spectrum of parenting approaches.
• Peaceful Parenting — Peaceful parenting shows at Living Peacefully with Children with an atypical comment from a stranger.
• Speaking for birth — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud soul-searches about how she can advocate for natural birth without causing offense.
• Gentle is as Gentle Does — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how she is gently advocating her parenting style.
• Walking on Air — Rachael at The Variegated Life wants you to know that she has no idea what she’s doing — and it’s a gift.
• Parenting with my head, my heart, and my gut — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her thoughts on being a compassionate advocate of natural parenting as a blogger.
• At Peace With the World — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry talks about being an advocate for peaceful parenting at 10,000 feet.
• Putting a public face on “holistic” — Being public about her convictions is a must for Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama, but it takes some delicacy.
• Just Be; Just Do. — Amy at Anktangle believes strongly about her parenting methods, and also that the way to get people to take notice is to simply live her life and parent the best she knows how.
• One Parent at a Time… — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that advocating for Natural Parenting is best accomplished by walking the walk.
• Self-compassion — We’re great at caring for and supporting others —from our kiddos to other mamas — but Lisa at Gems of Delight shares a post about treating ourselves with that same sense of compassion.
• Using Montessori Principles to Advocate Natural Parenting — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells how she uses Montessori principles to be a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.
• Advocacy? Me? — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers that by “just doing her thing,” she may be advocating for natural parenting.
• Feeding by Example — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip shares her experience of being the first one of her generation to parent.
• Compassionate Consumerism — Erica at ChildOrganics encourages her children to be compassionate consumers and discusses the benefits of buying local and fair trade products.
• The Importance of Advocating Compassionately — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood acts as a compassionate advocate by sharing information with many in the hopes of reaching a few.
• Some Thoughts on Gentle Discipline — Darcel at The Mahogany Way shares her thoughts and some tips on Gentle Discipline.
• Compassionate Advocacy: Sharing Resources, Spreading the Love — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle shares how her passion for making natural choices in pregnancy, birth, and parenting have supported others in Dominica and beyond.
• A journey to compassion and connection — Jessica at Instead of Institutions shares her journey from know-it-all to authentic advocacy.
• Advocacy Through Openness, Respect, and Understanding — Melissa at The New Mommy Files describes her view on belief, and how it has shaped the way she advocates for gentle parenting choices.
• Why I’m not an advocate for Natural Parenting — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog delivers the shocking news that, after 10 years of being a mum, she is NOT an advocate for natural parenting!
• Natural Love Creates Natural Happiness — A picture is worth a thousand words, but how about a smile, or a giggle, or a gaze? Jessica at Cloth Diapering Mama’s kids are extremely social and their natural happiness is very obvious.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy — Even in the progressive SF Bay Area, Lily at Witch Mom finds she must defend some of her parenting choices.
• A Tale of Four Milky Mamas — In this post The ArtsyMama shares how she has found ways to repay her childhood friend for the gift of milk.
• Don’t tell me what to do — Pecky at benny and bex demonstrates compassionate advocacy through leading by example.

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Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists

This post was written for the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. Read to the end to find submissions of other carnival participants.

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I was going to title this “Top Ten Ways to Enjoy Family” but there are moments when we may not initially enjoy family life.  Being present with whatever comes up is part of life, too.  When we’re able to do that, we make space for joy that is free from hindering expectations.

There are a myriad of ways to be present with loved ones.  Do feel free to share your experiences below.

1. Breathe. On purpose, feeling the inhale and exhale… again… and again.  Keep it up.  Focus every ounce of your attention on your breath.  Notice what happens on the inside when you choose to pay attention to your breath.  It opens you to being right here and now with your family.
2. Listen. On the inside first.  As you feel into your breath, what thoughts are going on inside about your loved ones?  Can you feel the space inside of yourself that differentiates from the story going on in your head.  Nothing wrong with stories.  Just notice the slight difference between the spacious nothingness on the inside and the words.  How does this type of listening affect your relationships?
3. Listen to each other. Through breathing and listening on the inside, you can really open to hear another person.  The ability to listen non-judgmentally (you can see your judgments as judgments instead of as fact) is cultivated with practice listening to ourselves and the other.  Putting aside one’s thoughts or letting them pass through instead of attaching to them and thinking one must be right or speak something next allows us to hear what needs to be heard.  How many problems can be solved through simply hearing what another is saying?
4. Feel. Deeply.  Embrace emotion as a colorful rainbow of inner guidance.  If your child is screaming or angrily responding, listen inside first.  Let yourself feel without immediately taking verbal or physical action – unless you must do so for safety reasons.
5. Accept. On the inside.  All of this inside work – who knew?  People are where they are.  We are where we are.  What is, is.  Exercise compassion for yourself and your loved ones.  This may or may not equate to action.  It may equate to silence.  Or a smile and a hug.  Just see what happens when you choose to accept the person as is.  Breathe…
6. Appreciate. Even in times of complete strife, there is something to appreciate.  When life hits misery, appreciation can save a soul.  When life is lovely, appreciation glorifies the experience.  Make written lists and post them or send as a note.  Share appreciation with your children, partner, parents and others.  It is contagious in a very good way.
7. Honor yourself. We can get so caught up in thinking we need to be a certain way.  You could read the 6 steps above and put them on your “To-Be” (instead of To-Do) list.  Notice when you are putting others first in a way that causes resentment and then explore the resentment.  It is possible that it has seeds in some thoughts that are dishonoring to you also.  Respect yourself and set appropriate boundaries for where you are now.
8. Be willing to change. Open to possibilities, release the need to understand or know it all (you too, Mom).  Let Life shape you.  Let your family members rub you raw to the point where you are so open that you realize it isn’t really about them.  It’s about you opening to be you, without all of the barriers and blocks.  This isn’t to let someone stomp on you or to add another to your To-Be list, it’s to consider having the willingness to let go of the old and embrace the unknown of the new.
9. Look long, bring short. Look at your long term goals for your family relationships and explore whether your short term actions are producing those results.  If so, enjoy the process of growth.  If not, continue exploring options for achieving the little steps towards what you want for your family.
10. Love, now. Being present is all there is, right?  This is true.  We only have now.  And sometimes we might think now isn’t so great.  Embrace it anyway.  Look deeply into the eyes of another, feel your heart and choose love.  Over and over until practice becomes habit.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please consider reading the submissions by the other carnival participants…

• Attachment Parenting in the NICU — Erica at ChildOrganics shares some strategies to help you parent naturally in some unnatural circumstances.
• 10 Reasons to Choose Baby Led Weaning — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares ten reasons to choose Baby Led Weaning when it comes to solids.
• Choosing to Breastfeed — From selfishness to self-giving, CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy lists reasons why breast is best for her and her family.
• Ten Things I Wish I Knew About Before Little Man — In this reflective post, The ArstyMama discusses ten things she wishes she knew more about before the birth of her son, Little Man.
• 10 Things That Helped Me Become a Natural Mama — The Accidental Natural Mama counts down ten things that helped her find her moderately crunchy inner mama self.
• Top 10 Reasons to Breastfeed Your Toddler — Extended breast-feeder Kate Wicker of Momopoly makes her own top 10 list for why she loves nursing her 2-year-old.
• Top 10 Tips on Authentic Grandparenting — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting offers a list of tips to make the grandparent-parent-child relationship flow smoothly.
• Top Ten “Dad” Things — Liam at In The Now talks about his favourite ways to spend time with his children.
• Top 10 Natural Strategies for Conception (aka How to Get Pregnant!) — Despite facing plenty of health issues, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama found her way to two first-try pregnancies thanks to these natural strategies.
• Top Ten Reasons Why Home Birth Rocks — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares her passion for birthing at home – the natural place for natural birth.
• Top 10 reasons why cloth nappies are fun — Tat at Cloth Nappies Are Fun shows how using cloth nappies can brighten up your day.
• Top Ten Ways to Be Present With Family — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares how to make the most of parenting and family life through being present.
• Top 10 Things In My Arsenal of Kitchen Witchy Mama Tricks. — Joni Rae at Tales of A Kitchen Witch shares with us the simple things she would never want to be missing from her cupboards.
• Top 10 ways I’m not very good at natural parenting (and why I keep trying anyway) — Jenny at Babyfingers shares the ways she is imperfect as a natural parent, and why she embraces natural parenting anyway.
• Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent — So what makes us “natural parents,” anyway? A lighthearted look at the Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent by the editors and readers of Natural Parents Network.
• The Top 10 Things Every Natural Household (with children) Should Have — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro shares a list of the most common natural products and remedies she uses for health and cleaning.
• Top 10 books for raising loving, spiritual children — In her ‘food for the soul’ post, Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares her favourite spiritual books. No matter what religion you practise, there’s something for everyone!
• Top 10 Things No One Told Me About Natural Parenting — Adrienne at Mommying My Way explains that the best things about natural parenting are things she never expected.
• Top 10 Flower Essences for Families — Kim of Nature Baby Bloggings lists her pick of the top ten flower essence which can help ease families through the ups and downs of life.
• My Top Ten Parenting Tools — Amyables at Toddler In Tow names the top ten tools that have been helpful to her while learning to parent respectfully and successfully.
• Ten Ways Families Can Enjoy Nature (for free!) — Spring is nearly in the air, and Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction is dreaming of the fun and frugal ways that her family is going to get out and enjoy nature this summer.
• 10 Reasons We Unschool — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains why unschooling is the right choice for her family.
• Must Read: Natural Parenting Top Ten — Amy at Anktangle wants you to do a little reading! She shares her top ten favorite books to help parents prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting.
• Top 10 Breastfeeding Misconceptions — Sheila at A Gift Universe examines ten reasons women give for why they didn’t breastfeed as long as they wanted, and shows how these obstacles can be overcome.
• Ten Reasons to Plan a Home Birth — Since a home birth can be an incredibly empowering experience, Leslie at Lights and Letters outlines ten reasons why you should plan to have your baby at home.
• Top Ten Books for Birth, Breastfeeding and Parenting — Megan at Just Me(gan) writes about the ten books that have helped her the most in her natural parenting journey.
• A Top Ten Letter To Me… — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes herself a letter of reflections and bits of wisdom she would have liked to know as a new mama.
• Top Ten Mama Necessities Money Can’t Buy — Buying baby gear is fun, but Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama knows real parenting must-haves can’t be bought in stores (or even on Amazon).
• Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine talks about her Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum.
• Ten Great Spring Activities To Do With Preschoolers — Kellie at Our Mindful Life and her family have come up with a great list of activities to do together this spring.
• 10 Ways to Reuse Yogurt Containers — Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes keeps the stacks of yogurt containers out of her recycling bin by reusing them in both practical and creative ways.
• Top Ten Ways To Have a Harmonious Home — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her natural parenting-inspired methods for maintaining a harmonious daily life with her toddler.
• 10 Natural Baby Items I Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares product ideas to support your natural parenting.
• The Pandas’ Top Five Crunch-osophies — Top five crunchy philosophies, as employed at the Panda Residence by Ana at Pandamoly.
• Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Son Intact — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children has shared 10 reasons why you should leave your newborn son intact.
• Ten things everyone should know about unassisted homebirth — Olivia at Write About Birth shares practical tips for women considering an unassisted homebirth and debunks some common myths
• 10 Most Popular Ways To Treat Cloth Diaper Stains — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey gives ten easy tips to make your diapers like new.
• 10 Lessons in 1 Year — Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter shares 10 parenting lessons that she has learned throughout her first year of motherhood.
• Top 10 Ways to Get Breastfeeding Off To a Good Start — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares 10 effective ways to ensure breastfeeding gets off to a good start.
• Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out — If you are uncomfortable using time-outs in an attempt to control your child’s behavior, try one of these gentler alternatives. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out.
• My Top 10 Parenting Scriptures — Dulce de leche is learning to integrate faith and parenting. Whether it is breastfeeding, babywearing, comforting her children, or gentle discipline, she finds that the Bible has beautiful passages to encourage her on her journey.
• Natural Cleaning Ideas – Top 10 — Laura at Laura’s Blog lists the ways she keeps her house clean and clear of chemicals.
• My Top Ten (plus two) Life Altering and Growth Inspiring Books — A top ten list of books from MJ at Wander Wonder Discover that changed her life as an individual, a parent, and an earth dweller.
• Top 10 Ways to Use Natural Parenting for Children with Special Needs — Danielle at Mommy Makes Cents feeds the needs of her family and special needs child through the use of Natural Parenting.
• Ten Fundamentals — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante gets philosophical with a list of the fundamentals that drive her natural parenting.
• 10 reasons why I chose breast over bottles — Becky at Old New Legacy writes a quick list of why she chose breast over bottles.
• Top Ten Natural Tools for the Work of Play — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree offers insight into 10 natural toys that will span the early years (and save you money).
• 10 differences between pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry gives her impressions about differences in pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US.
• Natural Parenting Benny & Bex Style — Pecky at Benny and Bex explains why Natural Parenting principles work best for her boys.
• Top 10 Reasons to Co-Sleep — 10 practical, emotional, and completely selfish reasons to co-sleep and share a family bed from Lily, aka Witch Mom.
• My Top Ten New Mommy Moments — Melissa at The New Mommy Files recounts the ten most memorable moments of her daughter’s first year.
• Top Ten Things Every Breastfeeding Mother Needs to Know — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood believes knowledge is power and wants all moms to be well informed.
• Top 10 Nursing Positions / Situations — Momma Jorje uses her 5½ years of nursing experience to share her Top 10 Nursing Positions/Situations. She includes some adorable photos of her youngest daughter at the breast.
• Ten Top Ways to Connect Kids with Nature — Terri from Child at the Nature Isle offers 10 ways to immerse ourselves in the natural world and develop a love affair with the Earth.
• Top 10 Slacker Ways to Natural Parent — Guavalicious is happy to show you how to parent naturally the slacker way.
• Simply what it looks like — Andrea!!! from Ella-Bean & Co. offers a glimpse into natural parenting through the eyes of mama and babe.
• Top Ten Reasons Why Natural Parenting Dads Are So Attractive — Nada at miniMOMist sure digs her husband, but it’s not just his good looks — it’s his parenting!
• 10 Family Systems and Routines That Work for Us — See what routines, organizational systems, and parenting approaches work for Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings to help avoid conflict and maintain sanity in a family with three young children.
• Top 10 reasons to choose midwifery care — Lauren at Hobo Mama lists the features that drew her to midwives’ care for pregnancy and birth.
• 10 Ways to Cloth Diaper on a Budget — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her best thrifty cloth diapering tips.
• Ten Reasons it Felt Sew Good To Make My Own Play Food — Brittany at Mama’s Felt Cafe lists her 10 (OK, 11) favorite reasons to grab a needle and start sewing your own felt play toys.
• Top10 Ways to Spark Interest, Learn, and Have Fun With Everyday Tasks! — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon gives you her top 10 ways of incorporating fun and lessons into everyday tasks and chores.
• Postpartum Gift Ideas — Alicia at I Found My Feet suggests a top 10 list of gifts for mother’s after giving birth.
• My Top Ten Shows Worthy Of Screen Time — Tree at Mom Grooves shares her top ten list of shows that she believes are positive, educational, kind, joyful, and a nice way to share some downtime with your children.
• The Top 10 Ways to Succeed as an Working Attachment Parent — That Mama Gretchen shares tried and true ways to succeed with attachment parenting even when working away from home during the day.
• Top Ten Books for Natural Parenting — Pregnancy, herbs, cooking, and healthcare the ten books Asha at Meta Mom the most.
• Preparing for a Hospital VBAC: My Top 10 — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis shares 10 ways she’s preparing for her upcoming hospital VBAC.
• Top Ten New Mom Survival Tools — Wolfmother shares her most beloved motherhood survival tools at Fabulous Mama Chronicles.
• Top 10 Montessori Principles for Natural Learning — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now gives her top 10 list of Montessori principles parents can use to encourage their children s natural learning.
• Going Granola — Tashmica from The Mother Flippin’ Blog describes the 10 ways that natural parenting sneaked up on her. She never expected to go all granola on the world.
• Step Away From the Amazon List — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wishes she hadn’t bought so much useless stuff.

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Hello

I recently answered a mother’s questions about boundaries as her child grows.  The insights can apply to any stage of the parent-child relationship.  Enjoy!

Boundaries, Breastfeeding & Sleep
http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/boundaries-breastfeeding/

Love,
Amy

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